'If a Stylist asks You Two Lumps or One -- say None'! is an ORIGINAL scripted & written STORY by me Linny G of 'Linny's Laughs & Gaffes'.

And this is how it went down tween me and the Hair Stylist..

I said, "Oh, I remember what I wanted to tell you. I used Henna on my hair on Sunday. To get rid of the grey hairs. And you may have not known this despite being in the profession -- but did you know that they recommended if available black COFFEE instead of warm water when first mixing the henna powder into a bowl?" She said, "Really? I didn't know that!"

I responded, "Yes. And after learning this I was in a quandary." She responded, "Quandary..why is that?" I said, "Because what if I were one to want cream in my coffee. And what about sugar? I was tempted to call the company!" She said, "Did you?" I responded, "No, I thought the better of it". She responded, "Why was that?" I responded, "Because with my luck after explaining the cream or sugar thing and asking if this could be an option -- they'd respond with 'Sir, so how do you want your COFFEE -- with cream, sugar or both'?"

And I'd astonishly ask, "You mean I can put sugar in the coffee before applying it to my hair?" And playing along they'd say, "Sure. How many lumps do you want?" Then sheepishly questioning my request and their sincerity, I'd say, "Two please. In the mix, right?" And finally they'd respond defiantly, "No dumbo. The two lumps will be applied directly to your head for asking such insanely stupid questions. Good bye!"

[Click to a dial tone :-)].